We’ve hit peak Pinocchio season. The wood marionette who needs to be an actual boy is nearly all over the place. Disney’s live-action adaptation will launch on Disney Plus in September, and Guillermo del Toro’s extremely anticipated stop-motion animated model of the story will hit Netflix in December. It doesn’t finish there — nope, that is the present that retains on giving. Sometime in 2023, online game Lies of P, which is able to meld Pinocchio’s story with Bloodborne-inspired gameplay, will launch on PlayStation 5, Windows PC, and Xbox Series X.

That’s plenty of Pinocchio, my associates! But solely certainly one of these Pinocchios has dared to go the place no lad has ventured earlier than. Only certainly one of these Pinocchios is scorching. And it’s not the stop-motion bark-looking man.

Image: Netflix

Lies of P has a really completely different, distinctive tackle Pinocchio — he now seems extra like Timothée Chalamet. Or like an actor in Riverdale — or any present that hires scorching actors to depict teenagers, who should not and don’t truly appear to be teenagers. This Pinocchio shouldn’t be a younger boy in any respect.

Pinocchio desires huge however this Pinocchio has dreamed greater. What a leap to go from this flamin’ scorching Pinocchio:

Image: Disney

To this man:

Image: Neowiz

A gameplay trailer for Lies of P was revealed throughout Tuesday’s Gamescom Opening Night Live. This steampunk hero can swap out arm items for numerous kinds of weapons, and he’ll be preventing his method again to Gepetto. It’s a big departure from the traditional Pinocchio adaptions of yore — Lies of P is ready within the metropolis of Krat, which has change into “a living hell filled with unspeakable horrors.” Though this one would possibly come closest to capturing simply how darkish, genuinely brutal, and outright bizarre the traditional e-book is.

Lest we neglect, Pinocchio is canonically a liar. How will the sport pull off his signature rising nostril whereas sustaining his appealingly dour, emo look? I assume we’ll have to attend and see.